We had dreams for you that reached to the skies. O precious, tiny, sweet little one You will always be to me. So perfect, pure, and innocent Just as you were meant to be. We dreamed of you and of your life And all that it would be. We waited and longed for you to come.
And join our family. We never had the chance to play, To laugh, to rock, to wiggle. We long to hold you, touch you now And listen to you giggle. You will always be our child, The child that we had. General condolence poetry for funerals. Child Loss poems. Pet Loss poems. Suicide poems. Anna M. Teri M. Johanna M. Has it been one year? Just text her right now. In my opinion, text messages are better than cards because a why is the post office always miles away, b you can send them every day!
She might not, because sometimes in grief you are overwhelmed with everything, including sending a text message. Cards written to your friend are great, but cards written to my baby are rare, intimate, and incredibly special. My sister wrote a card to Afton on his due date and it is one of my most treasured possessions. It says things like,. You are so precious to us.
We got a letter written to Afton from his nurse, and a few other letters to Afton from family members. I cannot even begin to describe to you how much these words mean to me. Hey, guess what? Just a few days before Afton was born, I had ordered a bunch of new maternity workout-wear. And I had been so excited about it. Of course, the package arrived to our house just a few days after we came home from the hospital.
It was painful to look at it laying there on my desk. Like a ghost of my life from before. Super, super helpful. Sometimes, even though the items might never get worn or used, they have emotional value to us loss moms. One of my most-dreaded things after losing Afton was making small talk in social settings.
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I would stand there, phsyically present in these conversations, but just completely dead inside. I could not, for the life of me, think of a way to interact properly. Am I supposed to coo at the baby? Ask something about motherhood? Here comes the mom who just lost her baby — how will she react around other babies and pregnant moms? Answer: awkwardly. This is hard. Please stop looking at me. If you are in a social situation with your friend, you can support her in a big, big way by being aware of how social dynamics might be affecting her.
And she needs that space.
12 Prayers | Miscarriage & Infant Loss — Make Something Beautiful
There are important days in the calendar now that your friend will never, ever forget. The day my baby was born. The day that he died. The day she was due, the day of the scan, the day there was no heartbeat. Be intentional about reaching out to your friend on these days and even in the days leading up to the day, because sometimes the anticipation is worse. One of my favorite accounts on Instagram, laurelbox , says this:.
Just show up. Just be still. Just listen a lot and say little. Bring coffee and sit on her couch and light a candle and listen. Let her know that her new rhythm is your new rhythm for however long she needs. Always sharing about grief and life and love stuffs on my personal Instagram account, lindsaymostrom.
- 12 Prayers | Miscarriage & Infant Loss.
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I also love food photography. I wrote an ebook that can help you learn your camera and I also teach food photography workshops in our Minneapolis studio. Did you make a recipe? Tag pinchofyum on Instagram. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. She just did what I needed her to do. If I spoke about my fears, she would reassure me and help me strengthen my faith. And if I cried, she cried with me. This was most important. The soul heals in its own way. Especially someone who I am desperate to see get better.
You, Bjork and Afton are often in my thoughts and prayers. I know that I am a stranger who lives thousands of miles away, but if there is anything I can do in any capacity, please let me know.
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I feel the exact same way. We just have to have grace for ourselves and others through the whole process, I think. Grace upon grace upon grace. Thank you for the comment.
Thank you. I know being the dad in this situation is way different than being the mom, but thank you. This is beautiful, and this is needed. I would love to read that post, after and during the journey of my friends losing their baby my girlfriend was surrounded by a really strong support network. It seems that more so girls are better at surrounding themselves by the help they need but people seem to overlook the Dads a bit in these circumstances I found it much harder to know how to show my support to him during this time.
Acknowledge the father and his loss too. People were so focused on comforting me and bringing me gifts, my husband often went unnoticed. And he was even expected to be part of the grief-support team instead of part of the grieving. I sobbed my way through this beautiful post, Lindsay, because love is beautiful.
So much love to you guys, from our loss-family to yours.
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What a beautifully written article. I needed to hear all of your advice. These tips are priceless. Thank you so incredibly much for sharing this post and all your posts about sweet Afton, Lindsay. I was so excited for you guys when you announced your pregnancy because you were clearly going to be such amazing parents. There are so many of us out here who adore you, Bjork, and sweet Afton. Sorry for not showing up before.
Prayers for the Parents who have lost: prayers 7-12
This is wonderful advice Lindsay. I had two miscarriages, both years ago at 16 weeks both times ; the second miscarriage was twins. I do have two living sons, but I have lost more babies than I have had. And the songbirds keep singing, Like they know the score, And I love you, I love you, I love you, Like never before, like never before. No, I can't forget this evening Or your face as you were leaving But I guess that's just the way the story goes You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows Yes, it shows.
No, I can't forget tomorrorow When I think of all my sorrows When I had you there but then I let you go And now it's only fair that I should let you know What you should know. I can't live if living is without you I can't live, I can't give any more Can't live if living is without you I can't give, I can't give any more. Can't live if living is without you I can't live, I can't give anymore I can't live if living is without you Can't live, I can't give anymore Living is without you.
It's been seven hours and fifteen days Since you took your love away I go out every night and sleep all day Since you took your love away Since you been gone I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant But nothing I said nothing can take away these blues, 'Cause nothing compares Nothing compares to you. It's been so lonely without you here Like a bird without a song Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling Tell me baby where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms around every boy I see But they'd only remind me of you went to the doctor guess what he told me Guess what he told me? He said, girl, you better have fun No matter what you do But he's a fool Nothing compares to you All the flowers that you planted, mama In the back yard All died when you went away I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard But I'm willing to give it another try 'Cause nothing compares Please don't ask me what am i thinking It's about you And please don't ask me I never can see you What can i do My first impulse is to run to your side My heart's not free, and so i must hide Please don't ask me What i'm gonna say to you I toss and turn Can't sleep at night It's worrying me, I go to bed Turn out the light But your face i see It only hurts The more i pretend That we could ever Be more than friends Please don't ask me Why I'm so in love with you You could easily make me happy That I know But I try my best to never tell you so I will sing to you my love songs And pretend but I'll keep my distance right down To the end Please don't ask me why I'm not talking I just can't explain And please don't ask me Why I go walking out in the rain I could not live the lie it would take To have you here would be a mistake Please don't ask me Why I'm so in love with you No please don't ask me.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now, I see. T'was Grace that taught And Grace, my fears relieved.
Gone Too Soon: The Life and Loss of Infants and Unborn Children
How precious did that Grace appear Through many dangers, toils and snares T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far The Lord has promised good to me His word my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be When we've been here ten thousand years We've no less days to sing God's praise In my dreams, you are alive and well Precious child, precious child In my mind, I see you clear as a bell Precious child, precious child. In my soul, there is a hole That can never be filled But in my heart, there is hope 'Cause you are with me still.
In my heart, you live on Always there never gone Precious child, you left too soon Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever In my plans, I was the first to leave Precious child, precious child But in this world, I was left here to grieve Precious child, my precious child. In my soul, there is a hole That can never be filled But in my heart there is hope And you are with me still. In my heart you live on Always there, never gone Precious child, you left too soon, Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever God knows I want to hold you, See you, touch you And maybe there's a heaven And someday I will again Please know you are not forgotten until then.
In my heart you live on Always there never gone Precious child, you left too soon Tho' it may be true that we're apart You will live forever When I think back on these times And the dreams we left behind I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get To have you in my life When I look back on these days I'll look and see your face You were right there for me. In my dreams I'll always see your soul above the sky In my heart There always be a place for you for all my life I'll keep a part of you with me And everywhere I am there you'll be there you'll be.
Well you showed me how it feels To feel the sky within my reach And I always will remember all The strength you gave to me Your love made me make it through Oh, I owe so much to you You were right there for me. Cause I always saw in you My light, my strength and I want to thank you Now for all the ways You were right there for me You were right there for me, for always. No New Year's Day to celebrate No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away No first of spring No song to sing In fact here's just another ordinary day.
No April rain No flowers bloom No wedding Saturday within the month of June But what it is, is something true Made up of these three words that I must say to you. I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
No summer's high No warm July No harvest moon to light one tender August night No autumn breeze No falling leaves Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies.
No Libra sun No Halloween No giving thanks to all the Christmas joy you bring But what it is, though old so new To fill your heart like no three words could ever do. I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care, I do I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart, Of my heart. I just called to say I love you I just called to say how much I care, I do I just called to say I love you And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart, Baby of my heart.
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